WELCOME TO CBS TELEVISION CITY
Okay, there was a little too much partying last night. Miss J had her birthday and there HAD to be Sangria at Cha Cha Cha and some homemade Mojitos AND some super fancy champagne from Somona, CA.
I got up a little groggier than usual. I wanted NPR to continue to drone on a few more hours...but I had to get up and complete yet another audition.
This time, it was the lady at the
Bold and the Beautiful casting office. I had been warned by my friend at AFTRA to not wear any perfume, as she has monster allergies. I obliged and hoped that my lavendar body lotion wasn't too strong! It was time to get my Soap Opera lady look together, which is basically just me, only neatened-up a bit.
The California sun was most beautiful in the mid-morning. Driving down Fairfax Avenue is really pleasant at 9:45 am. Most folks have already arrived at work, so there are just a lot of delivery people and out-of-work actors like myself driving around.
CBS Television City is right at the corner of Fairfax Avenue and Beverly, just north of my other favorite place The Grove and Farmer's Market. CBS TV City is one of the busiest and most famous places in town. Back in the day, it's where "I Love Lucy" was filmed, was home to "Gilligan's Island" -- and nowadays is host for "The Price is Right" and "American Idol." Yeh, I know "American Idol" is on Fox -- but they have some of the largest soundstages in town and all of the networks use them. They used to even film Bill Maher's show there -- and he was on ABC at the time.
It took a while to get on the lot, because there was a crazy lady yelling outside the gates. I heard, "I came a long way only to get thrown off this &#*@@ lot," and that is about all I needed to know. I thought, "I hope she doesn't have a gun!" I got my parking pass from the security guard and was told to use the Artist's Entrance. I parked down on the lower lot -- and was surprised to see that the usual line-up for "The Price Is Right" was only just going into the studio.
People who want to be on the show queue up at 4:00AM the day of the show. When I have had to get to LAX for an early morning flight, I have driven right past. They bring lawn chairs, sleeping bags, etc. It reminds me of the days of queuing up for tickets to see The Rolling Stones. It's an odd assortment of church and civic groups, plus families from the midwest. Checking out the line-up, you can play "Spot the Hillbillies" or "Spot the Church Ladies" with ease and amusement.
There were fifteen older women all in bright red hats. I think I've seen these same ladies at the Autry National Center in LA...but I could have been mistaken. They were on the audience warm-up benches outside, singing a folk song and swaying in unison. Some tired, beyond-their-prime, trailer-trash looking blondes were smoking in the designate spot on the ramp. The souvenir stand was doing great business, selling "Price is Right" mugs and all sorts of CBS Swag.
I had to run this gauntlet to get into the Artists' Entrance. I sure got some looks from people, especially this one older gentlemen who looked like somebody I'd seen on the Navajo Rez. He might not have been native, but he sured looked like it to me. Don't let people tell you that all Navajos look alike -- they don't!
As is the norm at most studios, you have to have them check your purse and go through a metal detector. It's like going to the airport! Then, the inside security guard swiped my Driver's License and printed out a sticky name tag. I was directed to go past the vending machines and up to the third floor.
TV Studios are very dull. If you've ever been on a military base, that is the best comparison I can think of. The most exciting part is going down the main hallway and looking at the oversized portraits of their latest shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond" or "Joan of Arcadia." You begin to notice that most of the actors are white and have a very similar look. So much for individuality.
I realize the only reason I'm here is because I'm Native American. AFTRA is trying to even the casting score by arranging meetings with AFTRA shows -- which these days are the Soap Operas. CBS, ABC, etc. win points in the diversity race for hiring minorities -- but it so rarely happens. The women at AFTRA's EEO department has become a real champion of mine and I know she is determined to get me hired.
It's funny to think that the studios would "look good" for hiring me. You would hope that it would be because you're really good at what you do, rather than what race you are. I'm not complaining, it just strikes me funny! I guess any way to get in the door is a good thing.
I find the casting offices and this one doesn't have half as much character as the one at ABC Prospect did. It was very sterile. I filled out a card with all my pertinent data -- plus the very important question of what race I was. I was happy they had a "Native American" box instead of the usual "Other" most cards of this type have.
Reading the sides over breakfast cereal was sufficient. At least I hoped so. The casting lady was very nice, but all business. I read the lines....and it was a curt, "Thanks for coming in."
I wonder if they'll hire me for "Nurse No. 2" or "Lady Behind The Counter" anytime soon? If I get work, I wonder if my role will tip the scales of Hollywood and show that maybe one percent of Native people got hired?
Next time, I gotta tell you about seeing some of the things I auditioned for -- and feeling super glad I didn't get the part.
With love from the Heart of Hollywood,
Slewfoot
